I Want to Live

I want to live my life for You
To show that You are great -
To show the world all of my love
And show sin all my hate.

I want to live my life for You
And worship You the most -
To count my own life as my shame
And Jesus as my boast.

I want to live my life for You
To show that Christ is all -
To tell the lowly You are great
And show that I am small.

I want to live my life for You
Counting all as loss -
To die every day to myself
Boasting in the cross.

I want to live my life for You
And taste You as my good -
To hold sin as my void and lack
And Your word as my food.

I want to live my life for You
With all I have to give.
I want to live my life for You -
O God, I want to live!

Gray Day Mayday

I was informed today by a faithful follower that the posts have been far and few between. Part of me wants to say that that is because of little writing content. Sometimes I feel like there are words that need to be said (written); others, not so much. Perhaps this is one of those not-so-much seasons. On the other hand, working, attending interviews, leading ministries, and taking 16 credit hours doesn't leave me a world of time. But here's something I've been sitting on.

Some days we can tell exactly what bothers us. Things go wrong down the line, the tiredness and stress of busyness kick in, and a person says a thing here or there that hits us the wrong way. Sometimes we blow it. There is a person we offend, a situation we don't handle correctly, a test we fail, a game we lose.

While it is true that things like these are typically the cause of the everyday downs, some days are different. Some days are not every day. Some days cannot be traced back to one pattern. What I am trying to say is this: some days are bad for no evident reason at all. There are days when things aren't as black and white as we'd like. Sometimes there is a gray area that cannot be decoded.

On days like these, cliches and inspirational statements typically don't do much for me. The older I grow in Christ, the more I realize that my perseverance in Him must be rooted not in empty words or catchphrases but in the living and abiding truth of God. If I live by shallow sayings, I have a shallow faith - nothing more than a seed straining from a stone. But when God's promises are the fuel for my faith, there is power to press on through one more day.

And sometimes, just pressing on through one more day has to be good enough.

Shadow

Shadows are a strange concept. Mainly they are thought of as something that looms in the darkness. That is true. But in order for shadows to exist, there must first be light. Another strange thing about shadows - by their appearance, they are not darker in different light; they are more defined in broad daylight, but the actual brightness does truly appear to be different.

Shadows are the place where all the monsters are. Shadows haunt men. In the shadows of the night, my inmost being hates anything I can think about. The planet is defined by objects on it, but the only backdrop is shadow. We see the sun, the sun sees everything, everything sees shadow. It is the starkness between light and dark, warm and cold, good and evil.

Shadows exist. Shadows creep. Shadows plague.

And for as long as I am here, my canvas will contain - in some places, in some way -

shadow.

Learning Summer Lessons Again

July has come. It is a sunny day in Phoenix; high, 112. As the summer rolls on, I continue to think on all the lessons learned in Indiana in June. It has been only a week and a half since I boarded my return flight to the Valley of the Sun. But my venture to Arizona this time has been much different than last year's. Someone was waiting. The house in which I live has now been held by my family for over a year.

The distraction of it all is diminished. As I feel the affections that so defined me, and think the thoughts that were my identity last summer, God reminds me that His kingdom is to come first. It is not simply a duty - it is a delight, my everything. As these things keep rolling through my mind, I pray that God will make me fruitful for His service and work. May my life realize and reflect His power and grace as He draws me to my knees in His fellowship.

Thanksgivings and Requests from CYIA

Thank You, Father, for the days we shared at CYIA.
Thank You, God, for those You placed into my care.
Thank You for making me strong enough for this trip and seeing me through to the very last day.
Thank You that I was never alone.
Thank You so much for the time we had together.
Thank You for the people who blessed me here and for those who are a blessing all year long.
Thank You for renewing my heart for ministry.
Thank You for kindling my desire for Your kingdom, Your power, and Your glory.

Keep me from the temptations of this world, and continue to drive me into the light of Your glorious presence, O God. Protect me from the deception of my own heart and the schemes of the devil. Never allow me to forget the joy and the deep longings for You I experienced here. By Your Holy Spirit, allow me to pour into others the same power and grace You have poured into me.

O God, let my ways be intimately acquainted with Yours as You are with mine. My soul thirsts for You.

Thank You for all that happened here.

Learning and Loving; Serving and Seeking

It is hard to believe that I have not yet been in Indiana for even one week. The flight seemed like it was such a long time ago. This week has served as a reminder to me just how long CYIA really is. But I am also re-learning several things that I forget every year. Through the examples and fellowship of others, my heart has been encouraged and driven to prayer and worship.

So often in the monotony and the mundane I forget that God desires me to love Him with everything I am inside and all I hold on the outside. He sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, so that I would live for Him forever. He desires my heart, not just the outside of my cup. When we as believers are surrounded by others who speak God's word to us and pray with us and encourage us in Christ and serve us, we grow closer to our Savior. As we seek the Lord in His word, we grow in the knowledge of our great Savior (2 Pet. 3:18).

The worst thing I can imagine for any life is a profession of faith and actions that deny it. I want my life to be totally abandoned to the work and service of Jesus Christ. My desire is to seek His will in everything and share His name with everyone. Wherever I am, I want to read His word and speak His truth into others' lives. Everywhere I go, I want to serve Him and others with all my heart -

because I love Him.

Two Weeks in Indiana

10:55 AM Indianapolis time

This week and next I have the opportunity to serve in Indiana at CYIA. On Saturday I flew from Phoenix's Sky Harbor Airport to Indianapolis where I was picked up by a friend. This morning I will be travelling from Carmel, IN to Indiana Wesleyan University in Marion where the training will be held - pray for wisdom and guidance at this time as I will be serving many missionaries. Also, pray that God will be glorified in the time there.

Throughout my stay in Indiana I hope to write and send a few updates.